It is really difficult to write about substance abuse-at least it is for me. Everyone experiences alcohol and drug use in a different way. Alcohol and drugs were forms of escape for me in my awkward adolescence. Here I was in an all-male environment with no chance to meet or even talk to girls. Many of classmates were rich beyond anything I could imagine. I could not compete in the arena of wealth of power. I was not a star athlete. My grades were good but not outstanding. In short, I had nothing in which I could excel. Then, one evening, very unexpectedly I discovered that I was "good" at drinking. What I mean by that is that I could consume large quantities of alcohol without any (apparent) ill effects. Getting alcohol in the 1970's in New Jersey (and many other states) was easy because the drinking age was 18. I was tall for my age so I could pick up a case of beer or a large bottle of vodka without ever being asked for ID starting at about age 16. I became a drunk in high school.
Anyway, in college I continued to drink like a fish while becoming a respected member of one of Cornell's 50 social fraternities. I squandered the opportunity to develop my potential. I graduated with a major in classical language and a minor in philosophy. My GPA was very mediocre due to my perpetual drunkenness. Somehow I managed to get a respectable score on the LSAT. After graduation I enrolled in law school at American University in DC. I knew absolutely nothing about law as a profession. I chose this direction mainly because my college academic advisor pushed me that way. He was well aware that I lacked the discipline to pursue a masters or doctoral degree in classical language. Law school was absolutely awful. I would talk anyone out of going. In the 1980's I at least had a good shot at landing a job right out of law school. Today the jobs are much harder to come by. More importantly, though, the profession demands that you worship two false gods: money and status. After 20 years of practice in both the public and private sectors, I looked in the mirror and did not like the person I saw. I had been a drunk lawyer and a sober lawyer. Neither condition was very satisfying. I had been too miserable for too long. I had destroyed a 15 year marriage through a combination of drinking, deceit and simply being one unpleasant person to be around. I was a pathological liar whose biggest lie was that of being happy with my life.
My life began eight years ago when I met the woman who would become my wife. I saw the possibility of not only being in a loving marriage but also being stepfather to two amazing kids. I felt that by the grace of God I had been given a wonderful and powerful opportunity to review and reset the priorities of my life. Now I am a parent and a husband. I delight in simple tasks that keep our family moving forward. I no longer have the need to go to black tie events and mingle with people whom I despise. I have a freedom that sustains me more than a high salary or an expensive lifestyle. I have people who depend on me. There is no greater gift than being part of a loving family and knowing how great it feels to give and receive love within that family. My LUST FOR LIFE began in 2006. An essential part of this way of thinking is my recognition that I GET TO DEFINE WHAT LIFE IS AND WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY. I no longer wake up each morning and fret over what others might think of me. I wake up with complete gratitude for the life I have been able to create. I value things such as learning, helping people in need and being a good listener. I previously valued money, appearance, prestige and influence. When I shook off those worldly bonds, I found freedom and a level of happiness I never thought possible.
Very sorry this was not exactly a short bio. Anyone who is still awake after reading this deserves high honor and praise.
Until next time....
JY
(Edited 9/25/19)
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